Hi All I vlogged this on  so I am putting it here as well it just jerks my chain that people think thy can tell me who I am, when I am not sure they even know themselves!


To whom this may concern;

Ok Ok  Now be calm.  There has been much said and debated over the labels we should or shouldn’t place on ourselves as a group. Isn’t it about time that this ceased?  If you want to be part of the identified group then fine so be it, and if you don’t then walk away quit associating with the group, problem solved.  With that being said I will gladly lend my opinion to this discussion.

Being given a  label or stripped of a label by someone who chooses not to be labeled within our community, is a moot point as they are nonexistent due to not being able to be identified.  Therefore their opinion is neither relative nor important, as they are showing a total lack of respect for the people/person they are attacking.  In my hood in my day dissing someone like that would get you a fight in a heartbeat!  Thankfully we are all more grown and mature than that now.

What is important in this issue is that we are given our respect by our identity being recognized by our community, families, friends and lovers.  That   be respected for who we are what we are and not be told that to be a good human being we must identify as someone or something we are not.    When we know where we “belong” then we can be healthy and happy.  Yet this brings up another issue; who decides where we belong?  We belong here on Earth as members of the human community, a community which should be all inclusive of everyone.  NEWS FLASH While theoretically, I agree with the hypothesis “that there should be no need for labels of placed on human beings, any human beings” it just isn’t that way as of 2012.  I don’t see it happening in the next few years either.

When you say there is only one label needed for Lesbians, discounting a person’s sense of self, of self-worth, their identity, their dignity.    Would I like to be stripped of my cultural identity?  Hell NO! I would not like it one bit and I dare to say with no trepidation whatsoever  that neither would anyone of French, Moroccan, Chines, South Pacific, Cameroon, Italian, German, Icelandic, Conganeze, Armenian,Nigerian, Pnamanian, Ghianan,Nigrian, Ethiopian, Brazilian, Australian, Kenyan, Russian, or Lebanese decent.  I think you get the point!  Groups of peoples have over the years of recent history requested that they be identified by names of their choosing, and been given respect by the public at large by their use of the requested name/names. Therefore it isn’t right or respectful to try to strip me  of any word that aptly identifies me, and that I request to be identified by.  So don’t you dare!

This out and proud Femme will fight like the lioness she is In return! This lioness is not ashamed but proud that she wears makeup heels etc. and loves to care for and adore her Butch, and it makes me no less of a lesbian!  You may be as Vanilla and nonexistent non labeled as you wish and I will respect that.  I expect the same respect in return.    I know how that feels being a Femme for all my many years on this Earth, and it isn’t a good feeling, to be accepted by our own family of LGBT is a critical component of feeling whole and healthy and no one has the right to take that from us.  Not being able to identify causes stress distress not eustress, not knowing or feeling like you have a place to belong causes stress! This issue is all about respect. I would never intentionally cause someone harm or stress. I will however defend myself and my family, both close and extended. I would never call someone out of their name it just isn’t right, whether I agree with you, like you or not I would show you that much respect.


I shouldn’t have to explain why I am Femme and that being Femme does not mean I like men or am not a Lesbian. (Hmmm so I suppose you don’t want bi’s included in this debate either, since they can be decidedly femme and like men.  But I digress.)  I will gladly explain if asked. I decidedly do not live the normal hetero lifestyle and have no desire to do so.  I am firmly planted on the homo side of the sexuality scale if I have to divulge, and I have always been.  I knew I liked girls from an early age, ever since I can remember.  I always liked being a girl from an early age.  I always liked more masculine girls from an early age.  I dated some granolas even tried to be granola even tried with disastrous results to be Butch or Futch!  That was the funniest thing I ever did!  It isn’t me never was and never will be.  I am full of estrogen and I love women that have estrogen and a healthy dose of testosterone!

That God that dwells within and all around me and in every one of us makes no mistake, and it is no mistake that I am a Femme and damn proud of it!


So here are a few of my Labels:

I am a Female American Femme Lesbian; Lover,Mother,Grandmother, Writer,  of British decent, a Spiritual entity having a Human experience and a citizen of Earth!

Now who are you?  Whoops I almost forgot you don’t want any labels.



Lady J







B/F,B,F, Daily,Labels,Stud,AG,Femme,Butch,Boi,Sex,Gay,Homosexual,LGBT,LGBTBFQ,Transexual,Sex,anger,stress,anger management,stress management,stress control,tops, bottoms, tops/bottoms, love,human rights, human behavior, identity, identity crisis, cultural identity,CULTURAL INEQUALITY,LESBIAN SEX,LESBIAN IDENTITY

The Butch-Femme Friendship Dilemma

MainelyButch: Private Label

I recently had a question asked by two different viewers on my Youtube channel, and it gave me pause for thought, and fodder for a blog and vlog on the topic. The question is “Can Butches and Femmes be just  friends?”  Meaning here, can they successfully navigate the terrain of friendship –  without becoming emotionally involved and without sex becoming a factor or issue in the equation?

Facebook is the prime example of epic failure in the realm of Butch-Femme friendship.  More drama and crap goes across the status bar of that application than I can even fathom.  Personally I don’t let it bother me when someone un-friends me because I tell the truth, hey I know the truth hurts!  And if you can’t run with the big dogs, stay on the porch. If you can’t take the truth, GTFO .  Because I tell it like I see it…

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