My Addiction



by    Lady J

It is a time of reflection

This time I have to go to another dark place

I must go inside

Quiet and dark and pensive

A place that I can not escape

A place that makes me angry at self

A place that reminds me I am not in control

And then I remember I am freer when I am enslaved

I don’t have to make decisions

They flow like the water off a snow capped mountain

They just happen

They are just handed down

The stress of them does not enfold me

return to this place of enslavement

Where I am given to surrender

I let go and say ‘whatever’

I live for this I am owned by this

I must have it so I must not fight it

Without it I am nothing

What is it?


It belongs to me

I KNOW WHAT MY ADDICTION IS DO YOU KNOW WHAT YOURS IS?  Get over it yes you have one we all do and you are no better than I

Some are addicted to drugs some alchohol others tobacco some food some sex some love all air all water all in living

Some are stronger addictions than others  some of us only surrender to 3 some of us to 5 or 6 or 7

Get off of your high and mighty horse

Your addiction to feeling superior

Don’t you see the higher you sit

The harder the landing when your addictions pull you down

I know my addiction

It is not what you think it is

Yet if I give it up

I will crumble in a heap of sorrow and destruction

It is not  yours

It is mine and mine alone to deal with

Or to not deal with

Unless of course you, and how you make me feel

Are the addiction

Gay Scouting


This Blog is in response to a vlogging cohort who I truly admire but; whom I believe is terribly misguided on the issue of gays in the Scouts.  Chaz believes we should have our own scouting clubs and stay out of harms way in the heterosexual Scouting society.  That we should not go where we are not wanted.  The issue is not about being wanted or not, it’s about being a pioneer and isn’t that what scouting is all about pioneering.  Showing the way!?

Hitler didn’t want Jews or blacks in his nation, but good people of integrity stood up to him became pioneers and we had the underground. The Taliban doesn’t want women to go to school, should they stay away just because “they are not wanted” ? No we have women risking their lives every day to go to school in Afghanistan. There are brave gay youth and adults who want to show society that being gay is not a disease, it does not mean we have no standards, no ethics no integrity. We choose to show that all gays are not sexually promiscuous, or have aberrant behavior, that they WE have values, family values, and are more normal than most of the heterosexual kingdom.  We go to church and school and love our parents and grandparents and want and are contributing member of society.

The Scouts hierarchy are the ones that do not want gays in the Troops not the scouts at the campfire who can depend on their friend to help them gather food or wood, or tell a good story .  There already are scouts that are gay just as there have always been, just as there have always been homosexual soldiers.  We force those young men to not tell the truth of who they are by not allowing them to be open about their truth.  Organizing separate clubs?  Seriously    REALLY????

It is estimated that 1 in ten are gay with more women than men in the population that means 1 in 22 boys, which means to get a troop of all gay boys who would be picked on more by being isolated, you would have to travel through 5 counties depending on where you lived!  I think not! Way too difficult to organize.

The   Scout Oath, by it’s very own admission would not allow any scout to harm another.

On my honor I will do my best

To do my duty to God and my country

and to obey the Scout Law;

To help other people at all times;

To keep myself physically strong,

mentally awake, and morally straight.


Scout Law


A Scout is:

Trustworthy, Loyal, Helpful,

Friendly, Courteous, Kind,

Obedient, Cheerful, Thrifty,

Brave, Clean, Reverent



Chaz it is not isolation here that we need or desire as a nation or a troop it is inclusion and acceptance, yes we would  like to be with like minded persons with the same ideals, however not everyone has the same ideals, no two people in the Kiwanis or the Presbyterian Church or the local Synagogue thinks exactly alike and I venture to say that we don’t care how they have sex as long as it doesn’t apply to us! Further we don’t ask, so why ask a young person who may not have had sex at all yet! A young man who is morally straight, yet identifies as gay.   It is possible to be gay and celibate.

It is the very differences that make America wonderful.  It is these very differences that inspire people like me to defend to the death if necessary, the right for anyone to be different, for anyone to speak his mind whether I agree with them or not.  We can not shun those that are different or we are no better than Hitler, Sadam, Binladdin, or any other Dictatorship.  We can be blind, turn our backs, and in so doing let our identities, or our rights be stripped away.  Yes I know it’s a private organization; but it is one  that asks for my tax dollars. The  Aryan nation is also a private organization, should we give them our tax dollars as well?  And that Chaz is my 2 minute warning, by ostracizing and separating these young men we are starting down a slippery slope.

Let not only your GodMom know who your Fav Butch or Butches are, let the whole world know how wonderful it is to have your best friend, your love,r your sister/brother son/daughter in your life, and that they are living authentically the way they were meant to; AS A BUTCH!