Run if you will Stay if you must

Have you ever been in a relationship  where you felt that your needs or feelings were not being taken into consideration?  Not even when they were extremely small needs, like a quick phone call to say hi.  That does not mean someone is answerable to you or that you are answerable for your every action, it means you are in a relationship. Even in a casual relationship,a friendship it is just being considerate of each other to be the first to initiate communication once in a while.  It is considerate to check in when you say you will even if it is to say hey I’m busy can’t talk I’ll call you later, or send a text ‘I’m good just busy’.  When they don’t do that it seems to me they don’t have the best interest of the relationship in mind.  It seems like they are the only one that matters to them, too much ego.

So BEWARE if you hear someone say

“I do what I want, when I want, for whatever reason I want.  Period.  I walk my own walk and ask no one’s permission or approval in doing so.  “

If that becomes self evident in actions, then RUN because staying will only get you hurt over and over again!  HOWEVER………….Don’t run until you get all the details because friendships and true love don’t come easy in our society, and if you have it don’t risk loosing it.   That can hurt just as much as staying with a selfish person who thinks little of hurting you.  Analyze the situation, find out why, the situation you are in is happening.  Slow down no rapid decisions, you  may not be lucky enough to ever have that relationship repair itself if you let it go.

Show your interest in the other person by honestly asking them, what is going on in your life that makes it so easy for you to ignore me lately.  (or actually whatever egregious behavior you believe they have exhibited) They will either answer you with thoughtful analysis and maybe an apology, or they will deny the behavior, or they may out and out tell you hey I have this or that and it’s more important than stopping for a phone call. There may be no good reason and if they are not open to you then it probably is the time to run!  Someone who truly feels this way doesn’t need to be in a relationship.  Relationships are give and take not take and take and not think of someone elses feelings!  Count your losses and pull up your big boi/girl panties life will go on!  You will find a new friend a new love and have a fulfilling life.

You don’t need permission to do anything when you are in a relationship (of  any kind) but you do need to be considerate. When in a relationship you can’t possibly do what you want ALL THE TIME it is necessary to do things that the other person wants to do once in a while, even if it isn’t exactly your favorite activity.  Thoughtfulness is the key word.   Remember that!  It’s you that has to be just as cooperative just as open.  ONLY when you don’t feel it’s a two way street should you consider cooling off or breaking away .

Love yourself enough to know what will make your life happy and healthy, even if that is being alone, and not lonely.  You are never alone.


musings by: lady j




TO subconscious musings

that replace locic with reality

numbness in my heart eases

the endless possibilities of pain and self loathing

that could be my truth



I don’t


myself fall asleep

Just another happy ending?

So happy this day 

with the anticipation behind me

No fear just release

Ease of being me

unexpected but welcome

happy at the comfort level

ecstatic at the promise of now

and what may be 

what is to be

comfort and joy in the pain

knowing there will be an end

lasting minutes or hours or days    

until the longing comes in waves of

pin tingling sharp anguish

    lasting for even brief periods

it is pain

I must concentrate on now


not concentrate at all

for today is all that matters

and when today is over 

It will be tomorrow

simply tomorrow

with no expectations