Ode to Butch



Lady J

To all the Handsome, Hot, vulnerable, strutt’n swagg’n  Butches out there I would like to praise your Bravery and tell you I adore the very ground you walk on.

It is for you that I put every hair in place, and make sure my mascara is not smudged, and it is because I know you polished those big black boots just for me that I will make sure to tell you how good you look today.

It is for you that I check the hem of my skirt to make sure it is just short enough that when I bend down to pick  something up you are trying to see but cannot.

I know that you are so overtly visible that it hurts to be you sometimes.  I promise to try to be more overt with you in the future.  I will wink at you or lock into your stare so that you can make the “first” move.  I will “help” you when I see you at the WalMarts men’s dept. shopping for shirts by telling you that “that blue really brings out the color of your eyes” even though I know you are perfectly capable of finding a good shirt because you always look good every time I see you.

I love the way you cock your head and curl your lip to one side when I give you that extra second of a glance, or is it a stare?

You look at me and I know you know, I know you relish in the fact that I am wanting what you are, I know you appreciate that I am often invisible when I am not with you.   I hope my glance tells you that you are beautiful and handsome both; and that you are wanted but more importantly needed.

I cannot imagine how hard it is to be you, I am not you.  I cannot imagine how hard it must be to feel that your skin doesn’t fit.  To have people stare all the time must be like living in a fish bowl.  I don’t think I could do it with the panache and style that you do.  I do however enjoy being stared at when I am with you…yes I want to shout out that no one in the world is as lucky as I am to have you.

You see…You understand better than anyone else ever has, my girlfriends don’t even understand the way you do. You know how to touch the nape of my neck, to guide me into the car, to hold my hand when all I have to do is look at you as if to say I need you.  Yes I love the way you take that cloak of invisibility right off of me and bear me naked to the world!

Yes my darling we are different we don’t need to have different chromosomes to be together we just need to be different.

I want you to know that I love the extra little bit of weight you carry, and that the undergarments you wear must be unbearably uncomfortable, and if not uncomfortable at least hot.

Here let me turn the air down.

I appreciate that you did this for me, it wasn’t necessary but it makes me feel cared for, and damn you’re sexy hot.  When we sit at the table to eat the lovely meal you just ordered for me, and I put my hand on your ‘leg’ I bristle with excitement and blush profusely.

I’m glad that makes you smile.  We are the happiest people in the place and they can’t understand it, I secretly think we both enjoy making them wonder how that could be, and jealous of our happiness.  I know I wear this smile as a badge of honor.

You are a complete package just the way you are, you really don’t have to dress like you do, I know those boots weigh a ton,   I do appreciate the Dolce Gabana for Men though it smells so so well just so damn sexy.  I feel so guilty because I love my shoes the 6 inch heels make my legs look better and they are surprisingly comfortable with the platform, I can’t wait till we take to the dance floor.

I love that you dance with me when I ask, and sometimes you even ask first.  I especially like the slow dance, especially when we are alone, and somehow you never step on my toes in those big ass boots.  I do wish you would quit staring me in the eye while we dance though you already know my eyes are green and only look at you.  I do wish you would look at my cleavage it doesn’t offend me, and I went out of my way to get a push up bra that would perk the girls up and out a bit just for you.

You applaud my coming out over and over because when you are not with me people look right past me, but what you don’t know is that I don’t mind it at all on most days because I know, that you know.  When you encounter prejudice, hatred, and potential violence you are the much braver, because in spite of all that you are always willing to care for me.

My dear Butch I fight outward forces only when they challenge my perception of what is good and right, and that would be you.  You prove that to me every day, and surprisingly I care very little any more what others think, even those that proclaim to be so into human rights and those within our own LGBT community that think we are venturing into a mock hetero lifestyle.  They couldn’t be further from the truth and I have no energy to prove them wrong by fighting with them.  I would rather spend that time and energy making US happy.

Thank you for being here for me to love with all my heart without you my life would be meaningless,  for you my Butch make my life complete.

Thank you for being my best friends husbands best friend.  Thank you for watching girly movies when I know you hate them.  Thank you for going hunting with the guys and not expecting me to go with you.  I really wanted that time to read “Best Lesbian Erotica volume 6” so I could surprise you when you got home with something new.  That is after you shower of course!

Oh how I love your tats, just one question; did you know what those Chinese letters meant when they put them down your leg?  I so appreciate that you love my tats because you know I had a life before we met.  I also know you are glad they aren’t so visible, but that you would love me anyway because you know that what you love is inside of me and not out.  I know that you love me after Thanksgiving and Christmas as much as you did before, even if all the cookies and fudge make it harder for you to zip my dress on Sunday morning.   I promise I’ll lose it by April, not just for you but for both of us.

I can be snarky and it isn’t always easy waiting on me to finish my hair and makeup before we go to the flipping Safeway, Thank you

I know that sometimes you feel bad because I want to caress you and you don’t know how to allow me to do that.  DON’T feel bad I understand and I am feeling your inside, your soul, your heart, and I am very happy with that, because I know that is more important.  I easily subject myself to your needs because they fulfill mine, and you are really, no I mean really, good at that.  Which by the way I don’t think you could be if you had been a testosterone based human.

The way you protect me is admirable and I am so proud of that, you walk on the street side to watch for cars, you hold my hand crossing the street; you pull me close as we navigate through the crowd at the concert, and I know you would take a blow for me anytime.

It seems only right that I would walk hand in hand with you to the restroom waiting on you so no one would freak out and panic and call security.  I would trip anyone going in so they would not see you coming out.

I would do all that and more, so much more because I know there is no limit to your appreciation for me and I for you.

Thank you for never trying to stop being you, because you see, my darling Butch

After all these years you still entice me.

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