I AM FEMME

MUSING IN THE MORNING /  I AM FEMME

Coffee  or  not  it is me I  look in the Mirror
No  longer 23 no longer 30 no longer 40 the measure of time is there
Good measure poured out pressed down and flowing over
Do I see it  I don’t see anything as well as I  once did!
I brush and the comb is full
I need more coffee
I look in the mirror and I see me
I take a longer look and wonder will it change
Then what
It is the same the same me that it has always been
I believe
The same
But it is there and it is me
Pressed down and overflowing  right out of my  favorite jeans
Why do I care
Because it is me,  it is me and I want to be the same
The same as  the pretty girl on tv, the same as the women  I admire
The same as I once was when they  looked at me
And I could walk away with a sly grin on my face
Saying not today not ever
But they looked past me they looked at me
They did not see me
So……………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………
I take another look in the mirror
And I see the wrinkles I see the fat I see the years
I want to be the way I have always been
I can never be the same
I must change yet remain the same
I must be true to me
I  am what is I am what was made
I am the same
I embrace me
I adore me
I cherish me
I am real ……….. NO really
I AM REAL  REALLY
I exist
You can not xxxxxxxx me out
There is no pretense there is  no lie
You get what you see
I get what IS Me
Hear me
It has always been me
When others  look/ed past, looked trough, looked around
Not taking the time to look into my eyes
They did not see what was always there
They did not see the one thing I always knew
Whether I looked at wrinkles of time or youthful  dew
Whether make up or jeans or ball cap or a gown
I knew I know
It is ME
ME
ME
ME
I am the invisible lesbian to those that don’t know
Simply    ………………….      Because I am me
My lipstick and all
They can’t know unless I have a voice
They can not see!
SO
I am invisible to everyone but me!
No more I say no  more of this invisibility
I am here for all to see  I am here especially for me
Transformation in time it has come around to seeing wrinkles
Wrinkles in reality
Were once stood a woman who wanted the world to only see her beauty
Where once stood a woman who only wanted the world to see her intelligence
Where once stood a naïve woman who  only wanted to be accepted by the world by their values
Where once stood a confused and lonely soul only looking at a wrinkle
Now stands a woman who wants to be seen  to be heard regarding REALITY
So that others can see!
Look closely in my eyes  see the soul of me
Not at the hair not at the wrinkles and maybe
You will  hear perhaps you will see
It is not hair it is not weight it is not makeup that makes me me
I am not invisible I am here
I AM REAL REALLY
I   AM FEMME SO MOTE IT BE

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